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Attention all Wal-Mart shoppers!
On behalf of all of my followers
On my timeline, I'd like to extend my extreme gratitude
For those of you who catch attitudes
With the store clerks.
Also, for those of you who leave your house without so much as a glance
In your side view mirror, thinking you look good in those pants.
You've made dealing with these 30 red lights I couldn't beat
And the parking all the way on the other side of the street

I see you there,
With them curlers in your hair.
But I bet you didn't see me
Acting like I'm checking the price on this Nintendo Wii
But I'm really waiting for you to turn your back. HURRY!
Because as soon as you do, I'm reaching for my blackberry.
And sharing this hair crime
With all the followers in my timeline.

A flash and a click,
And Voila! You're a victim of Twitpic!

I couldn't get to my phone in time!
Because as I was waiting at the red light,
I was blown away by a wonderfully ignorant sight.
If Twitpic had a contest, this could be the winner,
It was a stationwagon, with just ONE spinner!
#OMG! #WTF! I would love to share this with you,
But the light turned green and the car behind me honked and gave me the finger too.

A flash and a click,
DAMN! I got a blurry Twitpic!

A message to all those "besties"
Who tell their buddies
"Yeah girl, you look good in that dress!"
Or "Yeah dog, that haircut looks fresh!"
You deserve an applause!
You've brought an unprecedented amount of excitement
To an otherwise mediocre day! I'm so delighted!

OOOOOH!! Another fashion fopaux!!
A big ass woman, with a small ass tank top, and NO BRA!
I gotta zoom alllllll the way out for this one.
As I line up my sights, to complete my mission,
I think... I'm gonna get mad followers for this one!
What I didn't see though
Was her husband standing behind me, and this dude was as big as her
And he was about 6'4"!

I tried to run, but this dude was quick as shit!
A flash, a click, a punch, and a kick.
I just got my ass beat, and someone got it on Twitpic.

Tags: humor

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